Saturday, January 31, 2009

what do you really mean?

wondering when people say things they don't mean do they really mean to be cruel. everything is a big joke even if it's the most important thing that is dear to me. i dont feel hurt i feel unimportant like my hopes and dream could come crashing down only i know thats not true. Im alot tougher then to take that cruel joke seriously.. it annoys me more then anything that's all and maybe Im being prideful in saying it doesn't hurt but its not just one person that jokes about things that well, really get under my skin. one person will make a crude usually sexual sometimes not joke and eveerybody bursts into laughter and i smile and i dont get the joke.. im oblivious.  Sincerity is the only thing that keeps me going.  Those small gesters that bring me back from the front. 

Friday, September 26, 2008

would you please..

competent-lovable-not easily deceived-trustworthy-kind of twisted-projective

this picture is vulgar.. not pretty at all.. still being wipped around.. im thourally frustrated

kinp

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Well in a personal aspect, a name is generally just a tag, or a way of pin pointing a person. I see it as not what it is, but rather how you wear it and what it means to you. It's what defines you. Even if it be siple, if someone was to say, "Hey, there goes (your name here)." then that means they don't just see it as words put together, but rather instant memories come up of you congruent with your NAME. And society has nothing to do with it. And we all have downs. Trust me, I know this very well. It how and who chooses to bring you back up, and the procces in how.

oh blah do names really matter as long as im contributing to society in some way shape or form (hopefully in any good great wonderful aspect.. preferabley astonishing but i don't think im quite there)who cares what im called, how i wear my hair, if im earning real money, or going crazy trying to achieve my dreams all the while getting down and trying not to lose it. damn dude when does the climbin and fallin bit end.. i wan to roll down a grassy hill after climbing to the top.. i want to look down at the valley
27 Aug 2008, 17:45


Well when you firgure out a name at least, let me know. And good luck. I still can't figure it out. And I've been trying to find out for years now........and gotten no-were. BUT! now I at least know what hair style to go with... that's about it though.....sometimes.


Aug 27, 2008 4:13 PM



still trying to figure that out



Of course! You preceive with your mind. By the way, who are you?




"you dont have to have eyes to see" -cat stevens

forgive

and hope that's bigger then a complaint will get us all free.

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

humble my heretics

... my lover is admirable...

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

GTFO!!!

Im so pissed but not but stupid but i dont deserve this and I just wanted a friend and then all this i know its her that dumb girl that hey if she can take care of all his problem then she better take care of the ones he left with me too.. but know its stupid and damnit it hurts.. i dont like expecting so much from people but Id at least like honesty and i don't feel like i get that and he is going she s not a dumb girl she wants to help the one she loves and she sacrificed herself to do that and that's beautiful but it was n't my fault and i DONT deserve to be left with nothing. i need him to need me its dumb and possessive and all that but why cant i belong feel belonging i do sometimes but not here not now. will i ever not be achild myself. once again i feel insignificant and i want nothing. i want the beauty of a black hole. I want to split apart into nothings known. Every thing is just a does it matter? does this little ball of nerves matter. does matter matter.. will i ever get to feel close with love love again bah id o butt its it s my problem not something i miss her always so much i can hardley breath sometimes..

not sleep no eat comes from no enigma thingy

its a place that im at whenever i feel loved its a place i go sometimes all by myself when no one could try to understand because you dont have to you just do the things that make me feel okay is stemed from sincerity close your eyes and tell me you love me enough to tell me the truth tell me you think of her and come with her in mind get it out damnit tool me if you need to dont close your eyes and tell me its not me go dont stay just go just hold me in you dreams and thats all

thats all i want dont choke me and tell me how he did you wrong.. make it up to me please then go go go go and never come back leave me with nothing but a nice gester if you want thats all i want you to want a parting gift and a but load of honesty about the grass. or everything anything but not the hurt just say you sorry about that i don't need to hear it i already know it hurts i was proud of you when you just told me about the violence and did not act.. but then you did anyway and it hurt that anger hurt and the mark is on my soul your force can just go

i just want a hug from someone who cares really. I feel no soul connection from you and you andyou andyouandyouandyouandyouandyouandyouandyou andalso many many many more users (thieves(ungrateful bastards(i really cant forgive fully till its over))) but
you darlin' and you baby and you sweetness are the ones i long for more then any one could ever know. alls i want for everything i have done or will ever do is a honest to god sincere acceptance of me in hug form

XOXO kimberly dawn fucking buringrud

Monday, June 9, 2008

still?

and forever you will, i kinda have a completely have a hard time coping with the fact that I feel so little for some people that came into my life, and just fell out and then here we go again with that super passionately crazy= ill always love you yes i will and you and you and a few select few but i get the feeling i don't matter but if i put the sum of all of my passion into something and make contact with all that doesn't make me feel like [<-----Backspace] PRESS IT.. press it, all the way. okay now i feel better .